College Courting

Around the time I realised that Jared was a serial monogomist, I joined a dating website. I was only 17 but they had only really just started getting popular and I was curious, so I joined one called FreeDating. I met a couple of people off it actually.

1. A guy named Johnathan who was studying law or something, lived in Driffield and drove a Citroen C2. Had a fumble in his car, then a week or two later he said he'd got a job offer for a firm down south. Never heard from him again.

2. A chap from Nottingham called Gareth; we deiced to meet in Leeds as it was in the middle for both of us to get to. I had eaten some dodgy sausages the night before and felt dreadful. Then the day got 10x worse when I finally met him because I found out he was blind in one eye (and it kept pointing a different way) and had really really long thumbs. We held hands, no kissing, then I passed out on the train home. First time in a Primark. Never spoke to him again.

My time not spent on the computer was chasing Nick around the drama department of college. A friend from Primary school, we always had seemed to have a thing for each other. He would grab my arse when we hugged anyway so that means something. He did lighting and sound for stage productions and was always with a guy called Carl. Anyhoo, me and my friend Becca would go on walks during Photography class on the excuse we were 'shooting'. Actually we played hide and seek with Carl and Nick in the dark...which usually meant me and Nick would go somewhere together a suck face...and other things...until one of them caught us. He brought me back a pink flower necklace from his holiday in Spain with my name on, and I still have it.

But at the same time I was fooling around with Nick, I was also fooling around with Johnny, a friend of a friend. Really nice guy, made me laugh and he was fun to be around. I fooled around with both of them for about a month, then texted Nick and said I was wanting to see where things went with Johnny. I thought at the time that because Nick came from money, I wouldn't be good enough for him. Or maybe Johnny was someone different, and I didnt know him that well. But I realise now that I made a mistake, because Nick was lovely. I've seen on Facebook that he went to Edinburgh uni, met Laura and hes been married about 2 months now. Me and Johnny broke up about a month after we got together; he was ignoring me around other people like he didnt want to be seen with me. Never spoke to him again, and dont know what he's doing either. 

I think I will always wonder 'what if' when I think of Nick. At the time I wrote him off, for one reason or another. Now I'd give my right arm to have him look at me the way he looks at his wife in his profile picture; like shes the most amazing thing he's ever seen, and he'd never get bored of looking at her. Well, I'm not necessarily jealous of her, more of what they have together. A partnership, a home, a marriage. 

But the reasons for my longing now will become clear soon enough.