The First...

So I start my proper love life at 14. I had had a bit of a false start with Jack. Nothing happened apart from hand holding, well nothing could really at 13, and in school as well! My friend Steph had been going with Tom and were inseperable, Jack was his friend and it just kind of happened. The hand holding I mean. I guess love is contagious. After about a month I realised he actually fancied someone else and was making his way through the playground with a throng of people to watch him dump me. But as I was forewarned I matched up to him and dumped HIM before he had even got the chance to see me standing in front of him. Heidi 1 - Boyfriend 0!

Somehow, Steph and Maija and myself had made our way one afternoon after school to Natalie's house. One of those friends who you know and like, but wouldn't invite to your bithday party, and didn't get an invite to hers either. She was on MSN (which has gone now, and makes me feel so OLD!!) and was chatting to some people she knew from primary school I assume; they weren't people I knew and certainly didn't go to our school. I think Steph had broken up from Tom at this point and was obviously heartbroken. So Steph got the email addresses of these mystery boys with a view to woo them into another sweep-me-off-my-feet romances seeing as hers had abruptly ended. I also wrote down 2 addresses. Not quite sure why, it had been wuite a while since Jack but as I said, love can be contagious.

I added them both to my MSN. One named Ryan and the other George. Both went to a different school, and the only thing so far we had in common was Natalie. Nevertheless, I messaged and they messaged back with gusto and somehow, I cant remember, I ended up getting with George. (My Ryan story will emerge soon)

Is it bad I can't even remember the first time we met? Or what we said to each other online? He met my parents, I met his. We got summer jobs round the corner from each other and met up after work. He was sweet, ginger, nice hands, played rugby, good kisser from what I can remember. We didn't have sex until I was 16, he was a few months older than me. We lost our virginity together and we were happy I suppose. 

We left school and started college the second year we were together, which is where things went sort of tits up. I had met Ryan once, we got on but mainly kept to talking online; I think George held a grudge against Ryan because we were rather close, as friends I suppose. But I took Sociology at college and didn't know anyone...except Ryan. So I sat next to him and it was even nicer getting to talk to him in person. There was also a bit of a rocker called Jared in Sociology. He was different to George, confident and cocky, he smoked, had long black hair...and I rather fancied him. Somehow I got Jared's number and we started texting, sometimes rather rauncy things. And one day, the bitch I am, decided I was going to take up his invite and go to his house. I told George it was for studying, but he knew what was going on really. He got upset and asked me not to go, literally held onto my hand until I shook it out of his grasp. 

I walked to Jared's house full of butterflies and nervous at this sexy goth god wanting me, and what he would think when he saw me naked. I am a curvy girl and not confident so this was a major thing. But he opened the door when I got there and kissed me so hard I almost fell to the floor and I realised I had done the right thing. George and I had made different friends at college and taken different subjects so we didn't really see each other, and I always suspected he had a thing for a girl called Poppy so I felt this was okay. Me and Jared had sex. Quite dirty sex for me at the time actually. But that was it. I left, and really didn't hear from him again. A friend had warned me after that he was a bit of a womaniser out for a quick shag, but I still thought that we would be a couple after. So I felt rather guilty I had thrown in George for a quick lay. Soon after, George looked at my phone without me knowing and found everything out, although he had already guessed at most of it anyway. I'm sure I apologised and said he had done nothing to deserve it, which he hadn't. Anyway, he haas been married now for a couple of years and has a baby due in the next few months too. So he's doing a lot better than I am.

Around the time George and I finished, my Dad left. Him and my mother weren't getting on, and hadn't been for years really so he should've left a lot sooner. But however big of a prick he was, it still hurt me that he didn't try and stay in touch. Thats a little excuse for my crazy way in college. But I'll get to that bit.

The Ryan part of the story is that he lived quite close to college, and because we shared some free periods I used to go round to his house and watch wrestling. At this time, I thought me and Ryan would make the perfect couple. We could tell each other anything, watch Will and Grace on repeat, and I rather fancied him. We went to London together, saw comedy shows. Then he came out of the closet and now he is my most bestest and treasured friend. He will appear in my posts rather often because he is usually the person I turn to most.

And here starts my little spiral of crazy dating in college!!